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finally sixteen today :D
happy holidays to all.
happy holidays to all.
Current Mood: 
satisfied
satisfiedCurrent Music: watching the office.
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a plethora of wishful thoughts.
24 December 2008 @ 07:43 am
29 May 2008 @ 06:58 pm
last day of finals tomorrow, ive been so stresssed.
im so happy this year is over. It was a lot like a transitional year for me. I acted like an idiot most of the time, and i had my ups and downs, but now i really think everything has kinda mellowed out for me. for the first time in a while, i feel like im right where im supposed to be and where i want to be. I think ive matured a bit, but i realize that i have a lot more growing and maturing to do, and i shouldn't try to rush it, because in turn i just look/sound dumb. I'm only fifteen years old. I really don't know anything about basically anything, and i realize i wasnt as intelligent or knowledgable as i thought i was. I hope over the summer i fix some of the relationships that broke during the school year and start next school year as a fresh start.
i feel so content, thank god its summer.
im so happy this year is over. It was a lot like a transitional year for me. I acted like an idiot most of the time, and i had my ups and downs, but now i really think everything has kinda mellowed out for me. for the first time in a while, i feel like im right where im supposed to be and where i want to be. I think ive matured a bit, but i realize that i have a lot more growing and maturing to do, and i shouldn't try to rush it, because in turn i just look/sound dumb. I'm only fifteen years old. I really don't know anything about basically anything, and i realize i wasnt as intelligent or knowledgable as i thought i was. I hope over the summer i fix some of the relationships that broke during the school year and start next school year as a fresh start.
i feel so content, thank god its summer.
Current Mood: content
contentCurrent Music: watching fight club.
16 May 2008 @ 06:25 am
this situation is so out of hand its honestly pathetic. i asked you why you don't care. I dont understand how that's such a big deal. All i said was "im not trying to embarrass you, but I wish you'd care a little bit more about school." I'm really sorry that you didnt have a more intelligent answer than "fuck you, shut the fuck up. " But Its true. You are failing every core class. You are ruining your life by doing the things you're doing and i dont want to just sit here and watch you do it. I care about you, so i figured maybe you'd listen to me. But whatever, apparently I know nothing. I know im ignorant on a lot of things, im only fifteen. But i know that your lifestyle as of right now isnt good, and i just wanted to help. You are a bitch. You've been a bitch to me anytime i never agree with you. Then you pass it off and cry and make it seem like It was all me who hurt you, when really im just reacting to how you've acted. you've changed, and everyone knows it. I just asked if maybe you could fit me or school into your SUPER artsy schedule of: sitting at home, crying, playing photographer, reading the next book one of your 'biggest crushes' just read, or walking around no where. you act like you're so worldly, please give me a break. you are a fifteen year old girl full of teen angst, living in washington, pa. Just like everyone else. you are not worldly. you do not know everything about anything. until you realize that, you're never going to change. i was trying my best not to be a bitch about this, but you've taken it too far. apparently i know "nothing" about you anyways. whenever you choose to finally get your life back together, believe me i'll be here whenever you need me. but until then, I want to help you, but i suppose now there's nothing more i can do. You have to help yourself.
and if we're over, then fucking so be it.
and if we're over, then fucking so be it.
Current Mood: 
cold
coldCurrent Music: malcom mclaren.
15 May 2008 @ 10:52 am
im sitting here in school.
you are an idiot. i really hope you read this, too.
you are an idiot. i really hope you read this, too.
Current Music: sweeney todd soundtrack.
29 April 2008 @ 08:16 pm
two days until quite possibly one of the best nights of my life.
happy early birthday rachel, i love you lots.
happy early birthday rachel, i love you lots.
Current Mood: ecstatic
ecstaticCurrent Music: motion city soundtrack
05 April 2008 @ 04:00 pm
nathan and i are no longer together.
im no longer using anybody. things are straightened out and noone is being hurt, being manipulated, or being selfish.
Im happy, I hope your happy, and i hope everyone can stop being so angry now.
Im nervous whether or not this is the right choice, but we'll see what happens.
I realize, the people who judge me for this decision are the people I dont want in my life anyways. Most people I know already know so i shouldn't care so much.
I wouldnt call it a huge leap, but its a step in the right direction.
I endured my most embarrassing moment last night.
im glad i got to share it with you. :)
im no longer using anybody. things are straightened out and noone is being hurt, being manipulated, or being selfish.
Im happy, I hope your happy, and i hope everyone can stop being so angry now.
Im nervous whether or not this is the right choice, but we'll see what happens.
I realize, the people who judge me for this decision are the people I dont want in my life anyways. Most people I know already know so i shouldn't care so much.
I wouldnt call it a huge leap, but its a step in the right direction.
I endured my most embarrassing moment last night.
im glad i got to share it with you. :)
Current Mood: satisfied
satisfiedCurrent Music: modest mouse
30 March 2008 @ 05:59 pm
- i love you to death, but it makes me so angry that you feel you have full control over me. (i.e. always sneaking behind my back , trying to find out where i am). otherwise, nothings changed. you're the closest person i have and i appreciate you so much. im sorry if i dont tell you as much as you'd like to hear, but i dont do that with most people. It doesnt mean anythings wrong, it just means that it isnt important enough to let out. i still trust you more than anyone.
- you want me to chose, i'll chose. but it wont be you.
- ive been acting like an idiot lately. Im honestly surprised anyone cares enough to put up with me. Luckily thats changing, everything hopefully going to be better.
-you're moving away, and theres nothing i can do about it. Just keep repeating that. know that when you move, the person that knew me the best will no longer be here.
- ive felt sick everyday this week.
- haunted is my current favorite book, kill bill is still my current favourite movie.
i still have 4 outlines to do and 3 study guides. terrific.
ps. COHEED AND CAMBRIA WITH RACH, MAY 30TH!
- you want me to chose, i'll chose. but it wont be you.
- ive been acting like an idiot lately. Im honestly surprised anyone cares enough to put up with me. Luckily thats changing, everything hopefully going to be better.
-you're moving away, and theres nothing i can do about it. Just keep repeating that. know that when you move, the person that knew me the best will no longer be here.
- ive felt sick everyday this week.
- haunted is my current favorite book, kill bill is still my current favourite movie.
i still have 4 outlines to do and 3 study guides. terrific.
ps. COHEED AND CAMBRIA WITH RACH, MAY 30TH!
Current Mood: exhausted
exhaustedCurrent Music: death cab for cutie.
10 March 2008 @ 07:02 pm
you are the most beautiful person i know.
ps. id kill to meet quentin tarantino.
ps. id kill to meet quentin tarantino.
Current Mood: 
energetic
energeticCurrent Music: animal collective/weezer
02 March 2008 @ 08:20 pm
i havent updated in a couple weeks.
summary:
lock-ins, calling 911, nathan<33, rachel, love, garek, unfinished business, talking again, fasting, loneliness, films, realizing what i want to be when im older, changing all the time, stress, pressure, grades, chuck palahniuk, stephen king, english project, kissing, second-best, 6 1/2 hour phone calls, i miss what bret and i used to have, kevin, confidence!
- Rachel is by far my favourite person in the entire world. I swear if I didn't have her, I would be absolutely lost. She is the only person i can tell anything to and feel comfortable about it. Today I felt like shit, and she talked on the phone with me the entire day while we watched kill bill. I missed you and thanks for everything.
- In addition, the kill bill movies are probably the best films ever.
- I had a church lock-in on friday. At about 2:30 in the morning, everyone was trying to get some sleep but mostly everyone was just laying down with their Ipods in or texting. It was pitch black and silent. Just then, we heard screams outside the church, a woman was screaming "help me. Help me!" Then we saw her running down the road, she looked like she was being chased. We called 911 and had a police car check out the building for anybody or anything unusual. We never got note of what exactly happened, but it was seriously very frightening. I hope that woman is okay now. There wasn't much point in posting about it, but it was on my mind.
- i feel really lonely right now. i wish i wasnt so nostalgic.
Current Mood: 
nostalgic
nostalgicCurrent Music: death cab for cutie/the album leaf.
12 February 2008 @ 05:02 pm
09 February 2008 @ 08:52 pm
last year, around this time, everything was completely different.
I had a boyfriend, it was one of the first times i had ever had a boyfriend on valentines day, and i remember being so excited, ignorant, and happy. This boy and i were best friends for months before we started dating.
We had been dating for a few months and we were already completely open and close.
I really cared about this boy and felt this boy really cared about me. I let him in, i trusted him more than anyone else, and he was the closest person i ever had. We did everything together, our families became best friends, and it just felt perfect.
For valentines day, he took me out to one of my favourite restaurants, bought me flowers, jewelry, and a necklace, and then we went back to my house and watched films and just talked. It was great and again, it felt like we had achieved perfecting.
And i just loved feeling like that. I love that feeling of caring for someone, knowing that person needs me and whenever im with that person, i have a purpose.
Things are obviously different now, and i miss this boy from time to time, but more than that i miss that feeling i had. I love my friends with all my heart and im content now, but i can't help but think that maybe if i had one really close companion, id be even happier.
I know now that perfection doesn't exist in this day and age, and nothing is ever static for long, change is an inevitable re-occuring process. I feel dumb now about how ignorant and happy-go-lucky i was back then. I may have been blind-sighted, but theres no doubt i was happier.
For the longest time ive told myself that i wasnt ready for a relationship. It seems that anybody who i start having feelings for, i push away, because i know things are never going to go back to the way it was last year, and i was afraid of branching out and setting myself, and the other person, up for disappointment.
Now i've been thinking more and more, and i realize that i need to get over the fact that things are different and embrace them. All i've been wanting to do is just live, but i realize now that ive jsut been hiding away. Im finally ready for a real relationship now, whenever the next opportunity comes along, i hope i take it.
Thats another thing to, my feelings come and go all the time. I really can't help it. I'll start feeling a strong attraction for someone, and i'll tell them that, and then the next few weeks or so, it'll be gone and come back again. Fortunately this hasnt been happening quite as often, but its happened in the past and i dont want to hurt anybody.
I guess the point of this was to explain that I know that im never going to find a connection or a relationship like i had about a year ago. And i realize now that it's okay. There are plenty of better, more compatible people out there that i will eventually get that feeling with, people that i can really care about. And thats all i want.
Until then, I have myself, friends, and music,
and that keeps me happy enough (:
okay, im done for now.
ps. there is a new tim and eric ondemand, hooray.
I had a boyfriend, it was one of the first times i had ever had a boyfriend on valentines day, and i remember being so excited, ignorant, and happy. This boy and i were best friends for months before we started dating.
We had been dating for a few months and we were already completely open and close.
I really cared about this boy and felt this boy really cared about me. I let him in, i trusted him more than anyone else, and he was the closest person i ever had. We did everything together, our families became best friends, and it just felt perfect.
For valentines day, he took me out to one of my favourite restaurants, bought me flowers, jewelry, and a necklace, and then we went back to my house and watched films and just talked. It was great and again, it felt like we had achieved perfecting.
And i just loved feeling like that. I love that feeling of caring for someone, knowing that person needs me and whenever im with that person, i have a purpose.
Things are obviously different now, and i miss this boy from time to time, but more than that i miss that feeling i had. I love my friends with all my heart and im content now, but i can't help but think that maybe if i had one really close companion, id be even happier.
I know now that perfection doesn't exist in this day and age, and nothing is ever static for long, change is an inevitable re-occuring process. I feel dumb now about how ignorant and happy-go-lucky i was back then. I may have been blind-sighted, but theres no doubt i was happier.
For the longest time ive told myself that i wasnt ready for a relationship. It seems that anybody who i start having feelings for, i push away, because i know things are never going to go back to the way it was last year, and i was afraid of branching out and setting myself, and the other person, up for disappointment.
Now i've been thinking more and more, and i realize that i need to get over the fact that things are different and embrace them. All i've been wanting to do is just live, but i realize now that ive jsut been hiding away. Im finally ready for a real relationship now, whenever the next opportunity comes along, i hope i take it.
Thats another thing to, my feelings come and go all the time. I really can't help it. I'll start feeling a strong attraction for someone, and i'll tell them that, and then the next few weeks or so, it'll be gone and come back again. Fortunately this hasnt been happening quite as often, but its happened in the past and i dont want to hurt anybody.
I guess the point of this was to explain that I know that im never going to find a connection or a relationship like i had about a year ago. And i realize now that it's okay. There are plenty of better, more compatible people out there that i will eventually get that feeling with, people that i can really care about. And thats all i want.
Until then, I have myself, friends, and music,
and that keeps me happy enough (:
okay, im done for now.
ps. there is a new tim and eric ondemand, hooray.
Current Mood: calm
calmCurrent Music: death cab for cutie/bright eyes
07 February 2008 @ 06:43 pm
i feel so good today. I've felt great the entire day. things are looking up, and i hope it continues like this. february should be good.
- today was my sister's birthday, she is 13 now.
- I have no Valentine, nor am I going to be a Valentine. Thats definitely okay with me.
- I need to start wearing my retainer.
- i really like you. this will probably change soon, it always does. But for the time being, I really like you.
- today was my sister's birthday, she is 13 now.
- I have no Valentine, nor am I going to be a Valentine. Thats definitely okay with me.
- I need to start wearing my retainer.
- i really like you. this will probably change soon, it always does. But for the time being, I really like you.
Current Music: teenage fanclub/elliot smith
03 February 2008 @ 09:10 pm
jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, making out, secrets, erie, getaway weekend, too standoffish, independence, unable to comply-settle-attach, ab, relationships, the life aquatic, new hair-cut today, decaydance, nervous about almost everything, unsatisfaction, chuck palaniuk, cp, rm, bs, flaws, critisism, love, lies, not updating livejournal the past week, new puppy, change, static, empty, tired, constant headaches, sleeping forever, music all the time.
things to work for: competence, confidence, and someone to confide in.
goodnight.
Current Mood: cold
coldCurrent Music: broken social scene.
27 January 2008 @ 09:15 pm
i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, i was stressing out over this stupid english project and i just finished. Im so happy.
I got my ipod fixed today, i can finally put new music on it. Again, so happy.
Going to splash lagoon on saturday, excitedd.
i want a snow day tomorrow.
I watched the exorcism of emily rose today. I heard from multiple people that it wasnt very good, but for some reason i really enjoyed it. It was one of those movies that you can't stop watching but you don't really know why you like it so much.
i feel pretty content with everything right now, its so relaxing.
I got my ipod fixed today, i can finally put new music on it. Again, so happy.
Going to splash lagoon on saturday, excitedd.
i want a snow day tomorrow.
I watched the exorcism of emily rose today. I heard from multiple people that it wasnt very good, but for some reason i really enjoyed it. It was one of those movies that you can't stop watching but you don't really know why you like it so much.
i feel pretty content with everything right now, its so relaxing.
Current Mood: content
contentCurrent Music: feist/the postal service- mushaboom
26 January 2008 @ 03:27 pm
so far this weekend has been pretty good.
yesterday rachel came over and we went to cafe bean. that was pretty fun.
afterward we just went to starbucks and then rented saw IV.
probably the best horror film ive seen in a while.
im going ice skating later, pretty excited.
lets continue to be good.
ps. you are as good enough as you chose to believe you are.
yesterday rachel came over and we went to cafe bean. that was pretty fun.
afterward we just went to starbucks and then rented saw IV.
probably the best horror film ive seen in a while.
im going ice skating later, pretty excited.
lets continue to be good.
ps. you are as good enough as you chose to believe you are.
Current Mood: amused
amusedCurrent Music: mindless self indulgence.
23 January 2008 @ 08:45 pm
-I'm so sick of people being upset with me. I'm crying as I'm writing this, because I feel awful right now. Honestly, this entry is probably just going to be me rambling and venting, and that's okay because i really need to. I'm so sorry I hurt you, it really wasn't my intentions and I know you don't believe that. You don't understand and I really don't have the patience to explain. The thing is, I never meant to lead you on, there was no selfish awful ulterior motive. I just want you to know that I do really care about you and I want us to be best friends again. It wasn't because you made me feel good either. Maybe this time around will even be better because we now have a better understanding of each other instead of some clouded image. But seriously, I can't imagine not being friends with you. Even though we haven't known each other that long, you've become one of my closest friends and you're always there for me to confide in. I'm so sorry I messed up, but I want to be the same for you. I want things to go back to normal. I can't tell you how sorry I am, but I swear things aren't how you think they are.
- I'm also sick of people telling me what's wrong with me. I know when there is a problem, whenever I need help or advice, and whenever I dont. I usually like handling things more on my own anyways. If i feel the need for help or advice, I wont hestitate to ask for it. As of right now, its a no.
-Becky Lukach and Sra. Sloane are trying to kill me, I swear. Everyday they just piss me off more and more.
- I've been thinking about you a lot lately, no matter how much I'd hate to admit it. We wronged each other so much, but as of late I've just been missing you and the way you used to be. We were really great, you know. Before everything changed, it was so nice having you around.
- I cannot stand my parents anymore. They say the most hurtful things. I know in the end they just want the best for me, and that they are trying to help. But honestly I think they are fucking retarted sometimes. My mom thinks I need to lose about 15 pounds. She also says I'm lazy and although im smart, I won't be able to get anywhere in life because I'm so lazy. This is all because I have 4 a's and 3 b's, and all the other "gifted" kids are doing super-well. Fuck that. I'm trying as best as I can in school and she is going to have to handle the fact that I am not going to be valedictorian, or have straight a's. I really am not that bad of a daughter. My parents just need a reality check, they need to grow up.
- I would probably give anything to go to Coachella this year.
- I really don't care about anything relationship wise anymore. I just want to live, take everything day by day, and see what happens. No attachments, no relationships, no worries, no problems. At least for right now.
- I have had a headache for the past 3 days straight. Its like right behind my eye and it kills. Stupid enlarged brain vessels.
- I'm sorry I worry you so much. I always feel like i want to vent you to, so I tell you I'm upset, then I stop myself. I just feel weak spilling everything out to someone, and thats why I say to forget about it. Please don't take it personal, I'll come around with time.
- Okay, I'm going to stop. I guess its time for me to look inward and figure out what the hell went wrong.
- I'm also sick of people telling me what's wrong with me. I know when there is a problem, whenever I need help or advice, and whenever I dont. I usually like handling things more on my own anyways. If i feel the need for help or advice, I wont hestitate to ask for it. As of right now, its a no.
-Becky Lukach and Sra. Sloane are trying to kill me, I swear. Everyday they just piss me off more and more.
- I've been thinking about you a lot lately, no matter how much I'd hate to admit it. We wronged each other so much, but as of late I've just been missing you and the way you used to be. We were really great, you know. Before everything changed, it was so nice having you around.
- I cannot stand my parents anymore. They say the most hurtful things. I know in the end they just want the best for me, and that they are trying to help. But honestly I think they are fucking retarted sometimes. My mom thinks I need to lose about 15 pounds. She also says I'm lazy and although im smart, I won't be able to get anywhere in life because I'm so lazy. This is all because I have 4 a's and 3 b's, and all the other "gifted" kids are doing super-well. Fuck that. I'm trying as best as I can in school and she is going to have to handle the fact that I am not going to be valedictorian, or have straight a's. I really am not that bad of a daughter. My parents just need a reality check, they need to grow up.
- I would probably give anything to go to Coachella this year.
- I really don't care about anything relationship wise anymore. I just want to live, take everything day by day, and see what happens. No attachments, no relationships, no worries, no problems. At least for right now.
- I have had a headache for the past 3 days straight. Its like right behind my eye and it kills. Stupid enlarged brain vessels.
- I'm sorry I worry you so much. I always feel like i want to vent you to, so I tell you I'm upset, then I stop myself. I just feel weak spilling everything out to someone, and thats why I say to forget about it. Please don't take it personal, I'll come around with time.
- Okay, I'm going to stop. I guess its time for me to look inward and figure out what the hell went wrong.
Current Mood: cold
coldCurrent Music: ben gibbard/the postal service/explosions in the sky
19 January 2008 @ 08:08 pm
i have no idea what im doing, what im planning on doing, or what i have been doing.
i want so much more, i could be so much better.
ps. i saw juno again today, it was even better the second time around.
Current Mood: contemplative
contemplativeCurrent Music: bright eyes
17 January 2008 @ 06:03 pm
today was a good day, i felt pretty good the whole day.
i dont think i could ever picture myself not being best friends with rachel or garek, they mean the absolute world to me and im sorry if i don't show it all the time.
rachel lied about missing her bus yesterday and she came home on mine.
we studied for bio and went to the art show, it was a lot more fun than it sounds.
i went to school today still having no idea what i was doing in bio, it didn't bother me much. I'm just glad this week is almost over.
Tomorrow should be really, really fun.
Plans:
2:30- ride garek's bus home with rachel.
4:25- see Cloverfield
6:00- Open Mic Night.
-Eatnpark.
-my house with rach.
Pretty great.
i read the realm of possibility the other day. thank you hannah for letting me borrow it.
it was probably one of the best ive ever read. i felt like i could somehow relate to every poem and it actually put some things into perspective for me. i could go on and on about that book, i swear.
the pregnant girl in my printmaking class had her baby today, hahaha.
and Hannah and I took the dirty girl's seat in the back of the bus. Never again. It was awful.
pointless.
i dont think i could ever picture myself not being best friends with rachel or garek, they mean the absolute world to me and im sorry if i don't show it all the time.
rachel lied about missing her bus yesterday and she came home on mine.
we studied for bio and went to the art show, it was a lot more fun than it sounds.
i went to school today still having no idea what i was doing in bio, it didn't bother me much. I'm just glad this week is almost over.
Tomorrow should be really, really fun.
Plans:
2:30- ride garek's bus home with rachel.
4:25- see Cloverfield
6:00- Open Mic Night.
-Eatnpark.
-my house with rach.
Pretty great.
i read the realm of possibility the other day. thank you hannah for letting me borrow it.
it was probably one of the best ive ever read. i felt like i could somehow relate to every poem and it actually put some things into perspective for me. i could go on and on about that book, i swear.
the pregnant girl in my printmaking class had her baby today, hahaha.
and Hannah and I took the dirty girl's seat in the back of the bus. Never again. It was awful.
pointless.
Current Mood: amused
amusedCurrent Music: battles/rilo kiley
14 January 2008 @ 08:07 pm
"Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behaviour. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be exctied and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them have kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them-if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it itsn't education. It's history. It's poetry."
-The Catcher In The Rye
I really, really like that quote, it made me think a lot. As they days continue and more drama continues to build up, I ask myself: "what is the point? Why do we choose to put ourselves through this." I'd much rather sit around and not have any worries than caring about everything. But I still do. I really hope throughout these years I turn into a better person and make the right decisions. I want to have something to offer to someone, I want to be able to share my opinion and views with someone and that person really take it to heart. I'm only fifteen and i feel like i have at least a tiny bit to offer. I feel exasperated and dried out all the time though. Maybe thats why i like reading about Holden so much. It's all about judgement, the right form of mind, and growing up. I feel like I've grown up a lot this year. I had some bad choices and worked a lot of things out, and right now everything feels like its moving in slow motion. I guess Im just going to take my time with things for a while. Work on confidence, happiness, and trust. Rid myself of belligerence, nervousness, and being scared to let someone become close with me. Also, try not to hurt anyone I'm close with anymore.. Perhaps then I'll be close to satisfaction, and even closer to being content. As for now, getting lost in books and thoughts seems like a good pasttime.
i really want to talk to someone.
-The Catcher In The Rye
I really, really like that quote, it made me think a lot. As they days continue and more drama continues to build up, I ask myself: "what is the point? Why do we choose to put ourselves through this." I'd much rather sit around and not have any worries than caring about everything. But I still do. I really hope throughout these years I turn into a better person and make the right decisions. I want to have something to offer to someone, I want to be able to share my opinion and views with someone and that person really take it to heart. I'm only fifteen and i feel like i have at least a tiny bit to offer. I feel exasperated and dried out all the time though. Maybe thats why i like reading about Holden so much. It's all about judgement, the right form of mind, and growing up. I feel like I've grown up a lot this year. I had some bad choices and worked a lot of things out, and right now everything feels like its moving in slow motion. I guess Im just going to take my time with things for a while. Work on confidence, happiness, and trust. Rid myself of belligerence, nervousness, and being scared to let someone become close with me. Also, try not to hurt anyone I'm close with anymore.. Perhaps then I'll be close to satisfaction, and even closer to being content. As for now, getting lost in books and thoughts seems like a good pasttime.
i really want to talk to someone.
Current Mood: exhausted
exhaustedCurrent Music: the cold war kids/the postal service
12 January 2008 @ 07:45 pm
you really upset me today, its probably the first time you've ever upset me.
i can't help this, it's my point of view and i can't change that.
to say you will stop talking to me if i do that to myself hurts.
threatening me with our relationship isnt helping out anything, its a sad attempt or approach to solve anything.
maybe im taking this out of context, i know you mean well.
i'm sorry for the disapointment, i love and care about you so much. I can't have you worrying about me like this, and i feel isolation is best, although i do need you right now.
i saw juno last night. it was as great as i thought it would be.
afterwards, rachel came over and we went to hannah's house, since she only lives a street away. Jarrett was there too. We didnt stay long, but we watched Tim and Eric and i laughed harder than i had the entire night. :]
I got a hair cut today. She cut it way too short, but it'll suffice for now. I thought it was awful at first, but it's starting to grow on me. I suppose thats how all hair-cuts are.
Otherwise, today was dull but nice. I watched lifetime, read a book, went for a walk, and listened to music. It was nice to stay home for once and have almost the whole day to myself.
im reading the catcher in the rye again, holden caufield is my favourite.
i have nothing more worth saying for tonight.
i can't help this, it's my point of view and i can't change that.
to say you will stop talking to me if i do that to myself hurts.
threatening me with our relationship isnt helping out anything, its a sad attempt or approach to solve anything.
maybe im taking this out of context, i know you mean well.
i'm sorry for the disapointment, i love and care about you so much. I can't have you worrying about me like this, and i feel isolation is best, although i do need you right now.
i saw juno last night. it was as great as i thought it would be.
afterwards, rachel came over and we went to hannah's house, since she only lives a street away. Jarrett was there too. We didnt stay long, but we watched Tim and Eric and i laughed harder than i had the entire night. :]
I got a hair cut today. She cut it way too short, but it'll suffice for now. I thought it was awful at first, but it's starting to grow on me. I suppose thats how all hair-cuts are.
Otherwise, today was dull but nice. I watched lifetime, read a book, went for a walk, and listened to music. It was nice to stay home for once and have almost the whole day to myself.
im reading the catcher in the rye again, holden caufield is my favourite.
i have nothing more worth saying for tonight.
Current Mood: contemplative
contemplativeCurrent Music: the bird and the bee/jenny lewis